I'm conflicted and don't know what to do, help?

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LisaMCooper's avatar
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So, my birthday is next Friday, which normally for me, would be just another day; except for the fact that I will be turning 21.

Now as I understand it, the social norm for people turning 21 is to go out and get drunk because they're of legal age now. Except I don't drink, and don't really plan to anytime soon since I still, sadly, live at home. My reasoning? I don't know what I'd act like drunk and am kind of scared to find out, as well as my mom and her boyfriend are both very dry, sober people and I am doing my best to be respectful of that. And herein lies my dilemma.

I have two [technically three] options for what to do with my birthday. I can go with my sister to visit my dad's family in Kansas City, or I can go camping with my "friends" [it is in quotations because of reasons] here. No matter which option I choose, someone is going to be telling me I need to drink and I can do whatever the hell I want because, "You're 21 now! You're an adult!"

And I just… I really don't want to. I mean, I really wanna go visit my dad's family since the last time I saw them was at a funeral [also I know they'll respect my decision to not drink, though it won't stop them] and I wanna make some happier memories with them. But I also don't want to disappoint my friends here [who will attempt to peer pressure me into drinking and smoking; and not for the first time]. I just… I don't know what to do…

Maybe I should just stay home and hide away in my room all day. Otherwise I feel like I'm being pressured to do something that I'm not comfortable with and I just… Help, please. ಥnಥ



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Ogrefairy's avatar
Hey. I'm nearly 23 and haven't had alcohol yet. Not for a particular reason. I just live at home and there will be time for experimentation later. People might be asses about it but this is your decision. You can be an adult without drinking and it's your choice to make, not anyone else's.

I can't tell you what to do but it does sound like you'd like to go with your family.
If you're feeling this pressured and stressed about your friends, maybe hanging out with them at a different time would be best, when they don't have an obvious excuse like your 21st birthday to pressure you with.

If you want to talk, I'm here. Peer pressure is not cool. But your 21st birthday is just a day like any other and when it comes down to it, you are the only one who gets to decide this stuff.